Posted by: Trisha Leigh | May 4, 2011

The Rotisserie Chicken

The Rotisserie Chicken

I’ve been watching my calorie intake for some time. A year ago I decided to try to lose 17lbs. I’ve lost 14.5 as of this morning. The point? When you’re one a diet, sometimes you get excited about the food you plan to eat. Last Friday night, I planned to pick up a rotisserie chicken.

The grocery store was out of the rotisserie chicken I normally purchase, instead offering two birds that looked a bit dried out and were labeled “roasted” instead of “rotisserie”.

Undaunted (also tired), I grabbed one (it was one sale. Warning #1) and headed home. It smelled a little weird, but I dumped some BBQ sauce in a dish and settled in to watch Fringe.

It. Was. Terrible.

I could hardly choke down the dry, odd tasting meat. When I took a bite of the skin (the best part, unless you’re eating chicken with my mother, who insists on calling it ‘scab’), I couldn’t chew it. Not because it tasted bad.

I literally had to spit it back out on my plate because I COULDN’T chew it.

Needless to say I threw the rest of the chicken out and rescheduled my rotisserie chicken and roasted potato dinner for this evening. I stopped at a different grocery store.

They were out of rotisserie chicken.

At this point I’m pretty sure the universe is conspiring against me. Especially because my other option for obtaining said chicken is Walmart, where it will surely take me the better part of 30 minutes to buy one item. If I’m lucky.

Walmart always has rotisserie chicken. Sure, they underpay their employees and buy products from factories in Bangladesh where 10 year old kids work 80 hours a week for $20, but…they have chicken.

I grabbed one and got in a surprisingly short line. One woman in a scooter thing was at the register swiping her card and another woman, with just a few items in her cart, stood ahead of me. Sweet relief.

The woman on the scooter took her time figuring out how to use the credit card swiper, and then the little bastard declined her card. She pulled a Walmart gift card from her purse and handed it to the cashier.

There’s only $4 on it.

I moved to the line next to me, where only one person waited for assistance. The cashier told me she was closed.

I returned to my old line, where Scooter Lady is now digging cash from her purse but the other woman ahead of me had relocated. Cash came out, but in the process she turned her purse upside down and All the Things spilled onto the floor.

I joined my ex-line companion in her new line, where she had loaded her things onto the belt. In one last comic (now) twist of fate, the t-shirt she wished to purchase had no price tag.

She ran off into the bowels of hell Walmart to find a t-shirt with a tag on it.

The cashier met my desperate gaze.

Me: “I just want to buy a chicken and go home.”

He checked me out while we waited for her to return, which was very nice.

The moral of this story? Sometimes things we think are going to be easy turn out to be hard. Sometimes it takes longer to get places than we thought it would. If it’s something we really want, something we’re willing to work for, and redo, and keep moving toward even when we’re tired, even when we’re discouraged, and even when obstacles block our path – then we have no choice. We keep working. The battles to get there can make the reward that much sweeter when it comes.

Obviously, I was willing to die for that freaking chicken. And it tasted divine.

What I’m watching right this minute: The Mentalist. British actors FTW.



  1. LOL! I feel your grocery shopping pain. I have lousy grocery ju-ju. The store (whichever one I happen to choose) is always out of the main item I’m after, whether it’s a rotisserie chicken or my brand of contact lens solution. And then, when I pick a checkout lane, it is ALWAYS the slowest. Seriously, if you ever see me in line at the grocery store, do NOT get behind me. You will regret it.

  2. Haha. I love Rotisserie chicken like I love few things.

    Unfortunately, we go have to go to Walmart far too often and I am jaded to it’s evils.

    Congrats on all the weight loss and getting checked out!

  3. LOL The universe is conspiring against you– but that picture of a rotisserie chicken looks YUMMY!

    Last night, my older son went to Walmart to buy some dog food for me and took my 13 y/o daughter. When they were checking out, my kids said the older cashier started to cry. Ross and Julia looked at each other like “what’s going on here?” The cashier said she’d hit a deer on the way to work. My daughter said Ross comforted the old woman, telling her he was sorry. My son got embarrassed and said “I couldn’t just let her cry.”

  4. Apparently the chicken was determined to make you work for it! When I get excited about a food item and it isn’t there (or isn’t as good as I’d hoped), I get very, very cranky.
    And I so badly want a rotisserie chicken now.

  5. You have to use the self check out aisle at Wal-Mart. It makes it slightly more bearable.

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