Posted by: Trisha Leigh | June 13, 2011

Pillage and Plunder and Booty For… !!!

Okay, so it’s time to announce the winner of the hilarious and sexy ARC of Making Waves by Tawna Fenske. I had ten entries, and they were hilarious, hot, dirty, and lovely in all of those ways. In fact they were all so good I had to bring in a super secret guest judge to help me pick, because I couldn’t do it.

Denise Grover Swank, the super secret guest judge…oh. I really don’t know how to keep secrets. Make a mental note of that fact, people. Anyhow, Denise narrowed it down to a top 3 and then ranked them in order.

2nd runner up (I like the Miss America terminology, okay?) is from Patty Blount:

The deck I’d swabbed gleamed about as much as dank human ashes scattered at sea. I leaned on my mop, reminded myself that battleships were designed for service not sex.

I inhaled and grinned. She always smelled like a butter cookie. I turned, unsurprised to find her watching me. “Ma’am.” I snapped to attention.

Her eyes raked over me, lingering once where my flag no longer flew at half-mast.

“At ease, Ensign.” I tried but part of me insisted on saluting the Rear Admiral… or admiring her rear. Suddenly, she was in my arms, our hands and mouths fighting for control. “Drop the mop.”

“That’s not the mop.” I moaned then pillaged her mouth like a pirate on shore leave, my hands groping her booty. Fly open, skirt hiked up, I was ready to strike when she handed me a packet and said, “Sheath your weapon.”

I grinned. “Yes, ma’am.”

1st runner up is from Lissa, and the choice between one and two was really hard for Denise. She kept me waiting on Google chat for a good 5 minutes while I held my breath.

The Pirate’s Code

I’m last to arrive. As always. The other three were on the bench with undercover wine poured into old Starbucks cups. I grabbed mine as the kids became absorbed into the Pirates and Princesses game underneath the slide.

“Spill it,” Rosie said as I took my first gulp.

“The Pirate King got home early to try and plunder the booty,” I began, “because he’s been complaining how hard it is because it’s been so long…”

“That’s what she said,” the three chorused before we all took a synchronized sip.


“…since the battleship has been boarded. Pirates get cranky without being able to bury treasure.” Knowing nods. “So, just as the old Jolly Roger was running up the flagpole and I thought he would burst into flames leaving nothing but human ashes, the whole crew swarmed on deck brandishing their little weapons.”

Groans.

“So, he had to settle for a cookie.”

And the winner is…drumroll please….

Meredith!!

She stands in front of me, all fishnets and thigh-highs, strapped tit-to-toe in a sweet little pirate costume. My old battleship game is tucked under her arm. “Wanna play?”

“Uh,” I say. A booty call in the middle of the Superbowl? But she’s so freaking hot, I might just spontaneously combust, a pile of human ashes raining down on my buffet of Doritos and fudge-striped cookies.

Still, Dallas has the ball. “Cowboys are down, fourteen-three.”

“Strip battleship.”

Not sure where that came from, but I stop trying to peek around her leather mini. It’s war now. The pushup bra says her weapons outshine mine.

“I don’t know how to play.” But the rules become apparent when I say B-10 and her shirt gets tossed aside, just like my childhood memories of the game.

“You’re going down,” I smile.

“Maybe.” She flicks off the TV. “But I just won.”

Meredith, I will be sending you an email and will get this ARC in the mail to you soon!

What I’m watching right this minute: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (still S3)(yes, I’m obsessed right now)

 

 

Advertisements

Responses

  1. Congratulations to Meredith! Well deserved. 🙂

  2. Wooohooo! I adored all the entries. This was so much fun! Thanks to everyone for playing. Meredith, I hope you enjoy the ARC!

    Tawna

  3. Great job, Meredith! Thanks for the fun contest, Trisha.

  4. Congrats to the winners!

    *hangs head*

    • Pssst…hey, Harley. We could always ambush her and steal the ARC. Whatcha think?

  5. Oooh, I just checked my e-mail, and HOT DAMN! Thank you, Trisha!!! Thank you, Denise!! And thank you Tawna, for writing a book I want to fondle for the cover alone, and I know I will adore.

    Harley and Linda, you don’t live in Oregon, do you? I’m looking hard at your photos and not walking down any dimly lit alleys for a while, just in case …

    And to all the entrants, thanks for the great laughs. Super fun!!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Categories

%d bloggers like this: