Posted by: Trisha Leigh | September 14, 2011

Remembering It’s Supposed to be Hard

That blog title almost sounds like it belongs to one Tawna Fenske. Those of you who read her blog will know what I mean, but I’m actually in a bit of a serious mood these days. I’m a little down in the mouth, and things have been, well HARD lately.

I’ve been attacked by those feelings we all have but aren’t supposed to talk about. How maybe we’re not good enough, and what if we never are. About what happens if we never make it to the next step, whatever it might be. When if one more person asks what’s going on with the writing and we have to look into their faces and see the pity, the assumption that we’re wasting our time and energy and souls, well…we wonder if they’re right.

I know we all have times like these. Based on stories shared by established, successful authors, I know these feelings aren’t going to go away with an agent or a book deal or seven. It’s part of what makes us artists, these insecurities, and the need to be reassured that what we create is worth something to people other than ourselves pushes us to try harder, dig deeper, every time a piece of our insides splatters out for the world to see.

This scene helps me. The way she thinks she can replace her passion with other things, and forget about how it makes her feel, makes her whole. How Jimmy makes it clear that quitting without seeing it through to the end is something she’ll regret for the rest of her life.

The line when he tells Dottie: “Baseball is what gets inside you. It’s what lights you up.”

As much as I love baseball, writing is what does that for me. When I’m having weeks like these I listen to those parting words, and remember no one ever got anywhere worth going by traveling the easy road.

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Responses

  1. I love that clip! Aw, man. Now I have to go watch the movie again. It’s been too long.

    You’re right — it does apply to writing. And, no, insecurities don’t evaporate with a book deal. Hate to tell you, but in some ways they get worse. If you let them, they’ll crowd out the joy.

    So don’t let them, the rotten little b@st@rds. 🙂

  2. Don’t stop. Don’t ever stop. If writing is what lights you up inside, do it for no other reason than that. You’re great. I’m not just saying that – I KNOW.

  3. I love that scene! I’d forgotten about it. I love this whole post actually. It makes me smile because things have been very hard for me lately.

    Also, I like that you talk about writers being artists because I never really think of it that way. I’ve spent a lot of time longing to be great at some sort of art like singing, playing music, or painting, but I hardly ever think of writing as art. Without a doubt it is and I thank you for the reminder. I am an artist and the blank page is my canvas. Time to go paint a whole new world.

  4. I know it’s hard right now (Insert *that’s what she said*) but you are an extremely talented writer. You’re time WILL come. I promise. There’s just no way it can’t. One day you’ll look back and this will be a fuzzy blip in your past. Even if you feel like you’re drowning in it right now.

    In the meantime, I suggest a weekend of fun! St. Louis will never be the same.

  5. What a great clip. And yeah, the hard is what makes it great (both in the perverted and not-so-perverted sense).

  6. Thank you so much for writing this. It’s like you’re reading my mind. I believe the hard work is so worth it and unfortunately, sometimes the doubts and insecurities come along for the ride. Despite that, we keep on because of the desire to create. I don’t ever want to regret not indulging my passions.

  7. Wow thanks! You know I’ve never seen that movie! Probably because my lesbian ex-wife swooned over it. Well now maybe I’ll get off my ass, forget her sh@t and give that movie an honest view. Thanks again.

  8. *hugs* This is a lovely and honest post. Writing is a rough thing to be passionate about, because with all the joy of the words comes the pain of the insecurities caused by the journey. But I believe that it will work out for you in the end, and I’m glad you have no plans to stop trying.


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